Is He Proud? (Arty)

Arty keeps a field journal on her, taking notes and making sketches of all new animals or plants she comes across. She’s always eager to learn more about the wilderness around her. But sometimes she has thoughts she needs to get down on paper where nobody else will see them. And so, she’ll find a shady spot beneath a tree and write in her journal the things she can’t say out loud.

I've never known anything but love from my father. He worked so hard to raise me on his own within the city, and he was a fantastic father. But I've always felt like there's some level of disappointment harboring within his heart. He's the captain of the Moonrise Vanguard. One of, if not the, most important roles in Shinaelstra. I know growing up he always hoped I would follow in his footsteps, eventually leading the vanguard myself. But it's just never resonated with me. I admire them of course; they are amazing hunters, ensuring the safety of our beloved city. I just don't think they're quite as...needed anymore. The lycan threat is almost non-existent today. We haven't had any major threats since we've come to this plane. Or if we have, I've never known of them. Father tried to raise me to be a guard, but I've never wanted to do it. Hell, I can't even work a bow properly, so I probably couldn't even pass the test if I had tried. It doesn't matter though I don't want to be one of them; don't want to spend my whole life in one city, no matter how much I love it. I want to go out and be my own person, not the person everyone expects me to become. I know he says he's proud of me; I just hope it's true. And that I can be someone my mother would have been proud of, too.